Light a Match...

the ship has sailed. let it go or call it back to harbor

2005-07-26T14:53:32Z

THE PICTURE
The wind blew around me and I felt moved…
But I was wrong… I was still standing…
The wind was only moving around me…
But I at least know who and where I am.
There is a picture inside…
It is a picture I haven’t fully captured…
It belongs to someone else…
But I still don’t know whom.
Who is that hazy person on the photograph?
I’ve been searching… who are you?
This photograph belongs to you.
ARB

poetry again

2005-07-26T14:44:18Z

by Axel R. Borrero

The Ribs, The Ice, and I
I didn’t want to pull my ribs apart
But I had to do something to calm down.
Im always treading on your broken ice,
And you don’t seem to care…
And I am- freezing- but still alive
Pulling ribs to free my heart,
Sinking, down in ice.
ARB

Polka dots
Polka dots on my pillow…
Restless nights are jackhammers inside
And I want peace… I want my sleep…
But its very noisy in my mind.
Polka dots on my pillow…
Confusion is the smog of my ventricles
And I want clear… I want my sleep…
But my heart is in a receptacle.
Polka dots on my pillow…
The tears I hide are a restless cry
And I am drowning… I want out…
But I continue to try
To stop these polka dots on my pillow.
ARB

Stupid Fast Food
Hamburgers… hotdogs…
What do I want?
I love hamburgers…
But I want a hotdog…
I’ll have a hotdog…
Got it…
No wait…
Now must eat the hotdog…
Its not what I thought it was…
I want a hamburger…
I made a mistake…
I have always wanted a burger.
ARB
.................... ........................ . . ..
srrymnda4evrythnththshppned/lv/xl.

Burn a Candle... And burn MY darkness

2005-07-17T15:48:39Z

i hate self absorbing ignorance. it is the largest turn off to me in this world. why do people not want to understand things? to live ignorantly is to live a blinded life... where is the purpose in that?? without meaning and purpose we may very well be trees- they grow upward to the sky without mind.

i want beauty in my life... seek to find it everywhere... because it is everywhere... just.. some people suppress the great potential in life... how sad how sad. i want to feel... i want to breathe life in and exhale passion and love to those around me. what is wrong with that... absolutely nothing. without standards we become uncontrolled beasts... humanity is then lost. if there is no emotion and beauty... there is no place for my mind body and "soul"... beauty and emotion are my oxygen and water.

maybe i should take a left instead of a right

J. M. Barrie

2005-07-12T15:52:04Z

i have just finished watching Finding Neverland on DVD. the movie is slow at start but is generaly pretty good as long as one doesnt watch it at a late hour.
=======
anyway, i was thinking about how many people create things and then pass away. just the fact that someone once wrote something wonderful... like Peter Pan... and now no longer is around is something i didnt think to deeply upon until now.
.........
also... never really thought hard on the croc on Peter Pan. the croc is the concept of time- time is always chasing after us. it ticks and lets us know it is there... and eventually it will have us- unless we strive to be forever young within our own hearts. yes, we will one day perish, but not die.

ui

2005-06-27T21:11:41Z

not much new-
>may end up working at WalMart.
>going with Amanda for the 4th and meeting relatives of hers.
>and i guess thats it.

i'll write more when i have no headache.

><>

not so glad

2005-06-05T05:17:56Z

arg...
the hurt...the heatrash

ugh...

2005-06-02T05:00:00Z

please-
dont pine over the trash you throw away.
when birds fly away let them fly away... and do not talk about them.
the bird is not truly gone unless mouths are silenced..!
but this bird is not just gone, it is dead.
it wasnt meant to stop here. it was a mistake.
it was a spawn of evil.
let it rest in silence...
for you have killed it... we have killed it.
and every mention of it is killing me...
it drives me crazy...
the hatred... for it... it grows...
and it is killing me...
and i dont want to perish.
if you care for me dont kill me!!!
i want to live.

new look

2005-05-27T02:40:17Z

yes, yes, i have changed the look to my lj again. and i like it.
nshankhfkaslhfkadhsfkjhdasjkljkashfkjhaskjfhjkdsafsafhjkdsa

analyze

2005-05-17T16:15:56Z

lets look at 12 philosophical points on living i found at some website. the ALL CAPS typing is my comentary on each point- stating wheather point is crap or good.

There are no accidents or coincidences.
WHAT CRAP. THERE ARE DELIBERATE THINGS OR COINCIDENCES. A COINCIDENCE IS THE END RESULT OF WHAT CANNOT CONTROL AND HAS NO MEANING.

Everything occurs at the correct time alloted for it.
'Now' is the only time that exists. 'Past' and 'Future' times are non-existent.
HALF CRAP, HALF NOT CRAP. EVERYTHING DOES NOT HAPPEN AT THE CORRECT ALLOTED TIME. THINGS CAN OCCURE IN THE CORRECT TIME, BUT WHAT NOT HAPPENS ON THE CORRECT ALLOTED TIME CAN ONLY MAKE ONE STRONGER

Receiving is the price we pay for giving.
SOMETIMES ONE GIVES AND GIVES... BUT NEVER RECEIVES(WHEN GOOD THINGS ARE CONCERNED. ONE WILL RECEIVE WHEN GIVING (WHEN BAD THINGS ARE CONCERNED).
IF YOUR GONNA DISH, YOU BETTER BE ABLE TO TAKE.

I am not a victim of the world which I experience.
HMMM... WE CAN BECOME VICTIMS OF OURSELVES, BUT... HMMM. WE ARE ONE WITH THE WORLD... I HAVE TO DO MORE THINKING ON THIS ONE

The key to being happy is in the forgiveness of self and others.
VERY TRUE. FORGIVE... BUT NOT FORGET. TO FORGET IS IGNORANT IN THE HUMAN WORLD. TO FORGET IS TO OPEN ONE'S SELF TO THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING USED.

We always do the best we are able with the tools and resources available to us at the time.
THAT DEPENDS ON THE INDIVIDUAL PERSON. I REALLY DONT SEE THIS WITH SOCIETY AS A WHOLE.

We are human and have basic needs and desires, as do others.
TRUE, TRUE.

When I am upset, the true reason for that feeling is almost always unknown to me.
IN A WAY TRUE.

Everyone in every circumstance is either extending Love, or being fearful and calling for help, which is a request for love.
TRUE... BUT ONE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ONES OWN DECISIONS

Every event in my life gives me the opportunity to experience love rather than fear. I WOULD NOT SAY EVERY, BUT ONE CAN BE CAPABLE TO SEE AND FEEL THAT. I WOULD SAY THAT MOST EVENTS WOULD APPLY, NOT EVERY.

Every choice we make in life carries with it a corresponding consequence to that choice. When we choose an action, we must accept the consequence of that action.
THE MOST TRUE COMMENT FROM THAT WEBSITE.

o

2005-05-13T16:07:32Z

i changed my live journal a bit. i like the looks of it now better.

poesy

2005-05-10T04:15:14Z

...
REASON

there is a reason why the nights are long,
there is a reason why the clouds roam with anvil heads,
but i confess... for things are simple.
complicated... yes i know-

-i used to be a loose stream...
-flowing, turning, into stone and concrete
seperated by blades of grass, i know,
that breaks me into pieces...

could one glue me back together?
probably not, few people understand
that there is a reason why the nights are long,
there is a reason why the clouds roam with anvil heads,

-oh i was captured by some charm, but i have been fading.
i once was a strong shadow... but the light is killing me.
soon i'll disapear from my own absence into nothing.

and there IS the reason why the nights are long,
there IS the reason clouds roam with anvil heads,
but i admit- things Are simple...
but you make them complicated... yes.. i know...

ARB

ugh

2005-05-10T03:54:24Z

life sucks

....

2005-05-08T04:30:26Z

ugh

i like ships

2005-05-04T04:14:17Z

i am still pretty much feelin bad, but better than befor. then my truck dies on my way to work, and i just feel like crap. i havent been able to see my girlfriend for a while because of work and observations i have to do and such for college. i just want to sleep for a couple days more and not worry... but i have to move on. no matter the circumstances, at least i have my mind and God to consult and the few people i care about fully.

subject

2005-05-03T04:15:44Z

Hi All. it has been a while yet again. here is a temporary entry until i write my next poem to post.

i have been sick lately and have confined myself to the dreary dark livingroom with the mild comfort of a gamecube and tv for light. medicine and rest have been my closest companions as well as pillows, toast, green tea, a few bite sized Amazings, and orange juice.oh, and room temp. orange soda.

band - radiohead
song - Karma Police

Karma police arrest this man he talks in maths
He buzzes like a fridge he's like a detuned radio
Karma police arrest this girl her hitler hairdo
Is making me feel ill
& we have crashed her party.
This is what you get.
This is what you get.
This is what you get
when you mess with us.
Karma police
I've given all I can
it's not enough
I've given all I can
but we're still on the payroll.
This is what you get.
This is what you get.
This is what you get when you mess with us.
Phew for a minute there
I lost myself
I lost myself

i ran into this song online. old middleschool memories came back.
- -------- -
i was thinking about myself, and i want a few things already figured out. i found out by just pure pondering with use of logic that even though one cannot receive answers to things, the best one can do to secure a future is to devote complete energy to that ideal and have faith that it will work out. without this process one will find oneself with little to hold on to and will be only within the grasp of coincidences and passing time. having stated this, i can naturally presume that if i want to color a picture in only greens and golds, then i have to devote energy and commit myself to coloring with those colors. if there is no commitment and full push of energy to complete what my mind has conceived as probable achievement, then greater chance for error will emerge. by trying the "let life do what it wills" approach, one will feel a slight bit less responsible for the outcome, but also lose control over the outcome. this means that one would become a victim to ones own self. to avoid becoming a victim, one must go full force, head strong, not bending... one must strive to make that future work... as long as it makes sense and logic and emotion are set in balance by it and one's soul would feel complete.

iberianroots @ 2005-01-24T17:34:00

2005-01-24T23:48:13Z

i know i havent been posting lately, but i will be making an effort to post more often.

- today i have been feeling ok with exception to a minor pit in my stomach. it is the grain of sand that lands in your eye and even though it is so small and insegnificant, it still causes a rub.

classes seem mostly interesting this semester. for an educational lab i have to tutor some child in any given subject for about an hour.

work is good. things good in general... money is becoming a slight issue tho.
i had a great birthday- i got to eat out with my mom, sis, her Boyfriend, and Amanda. amanda even had a cake made for me the day befor... Thank you beautiful! :)

well... i have to go to class... 6 to 9... err

i would like to extend a big hello to Jenny + Robert.

thought of the day- Thought is devine, we discover, not create it. it is then thought that gives us meaning- and keeps us from the great evil of not knowing. and i hate not knowing!

some of my poetry

2004-11-17T04:30:57Z

When an idea hits the mind

The rivers, they flowed
From the jungles of my lonely soul
And the cataracts of fate
Kept all other travelers away
But you managed to blaze it all down
And I can see your face now
Behind the hand that I stretch to you
For you have conquered the
Land in which I stand
As I willingly give myself to you.
For you have set me free
From the savage dungeons of myself.

Axel Rolando Borrero

The Tale of the Place Mat

mundane, o no,
that plank of wood -the table-
holds you still,
with tender plate and fork and spoon,
well guarded from the floor-
i sit on furniture beside you;
light breaks the window
as wind sweeps away -all flares,
rain and sleet and snow
begin to mound on the deck outside,
and the kitchen -safeguard from any storm-
becomes a room of meditation,
with water, coffee, milk, and bread,
mundane, o no,
the plank of wood -the table-
holds you still,
with tender plate and fork and spoon,
well guarded from the floor-
i sit on furniture beside you,
and devour all my cares away.

Axel Rolando Borrero

Jogging on the Track

Baby, baby, baby,
How I love to set foot on you-
The manner your lines guide my way
And the method of your soft
Touchback as I speed across
And turn on your slopes.
I love to run through you
Because you're my method of escape,
With every step away a step further
Baby, baby, baby,
I sweat and bleed on your canvas
And get a spiritual high
Only you, God, the birds, and I...

Axel Rolando Borrero

It Only Takes a Second

Burning flame on burning flame,
blaze consuming blaze,
I'm set afire-
Like lightning striking
beds of timber,
Like lit matches falling
on wicker chairs.
I Fall inside them-
Those deep and dark pupils,
Never wanting to escape.

Axel R Borrero

Glorification

Like veils through water my wings moved,
The air I breathed slowly became yours
As I brought you to heaven.
Gently through soft clouds we did tread
Until reaching a gate,
And through the gate I carried you
Into true existence...

Axel Rolando Borrero

to A.R.R

2004-10-22T14:34:12Z

i hope you keep feeling better.
i am missing you like crazy...
nothing is the same
when you are not there to amaze me
with everything you do...
because your someone special.
and i will like you to know-
your are still the brightest star
in my night sky...
even when the heavens get clowdy
and you cant freakle in my eye.
and my prayers always contain your name-
because there is no one i care for more
than that someone that is you.
-axel

iberianroots @ 2004-10-21T11:02:00

2004-10-21T16:03:45Z

i just...

iberianroots @ 2004-10-20T19:08:00

2004-10-21T00:14:17Z

SONGS BY -SAVES THE DAY-
......................................

FREAKISH
As I'm talking my words slip to the floor and they crawl through your legs and slide under the back door rendering me freakish and dazed. Well here I am. I don't know how to say this. The only thing I know is awkward silence. Your eyelids close when you're around me to shut me out. So I'll go walking in the streets until my heels bleed and I'll sing out my song in case the birds wish to sing along. And I'll dig a tunnel to the center of the universe. I'll make my way across the frozen sea, beyond the blank horizon, where I can forget "you and me" and get a decent night's sleep.

OBSOLETE
Every day seems the same to me I sit around and think about how alone I feel then I wind up rather enjoying loneliness because it's the comfort of being sad- sometimes it feels so right and sometimes I'd like to be around no one for ten straight years but I know this feeling can't bring me places and I know I'm losing lots of ground but to keep up means to get up and why does it have to be the world keeps on changing while I just stay the same? I feel like being down doesn't mean enough to anyone anymore and I guess the world has made emotion obsolete and I don't think I feel the same 'cause after all who says what happy really means? Tonight I will redefine everything and tomorrow I will start in on my better days and so each their own definition of happiness but no one ever reaches it so I don't think I'll breathe that way but happiness is when there's nowhere left to go because in that state of mind there is no state of self so how was I supposed to ?

ROCKS, TONIC, JUICE, MAGIC
Let me take this awkward saw And run it against your thighs Cut some flesh away I'll carry this piece of you with me Because all I can say tonight is that I hate you But it would be all right If we could see each other sometime If I could somehow make you mine And if not I'll take my rusty spoons And dig out your blue eyes I'll swallow them down to my colon They're gonna burn like hell tonight Because you're beautiful Just not on the inside Light comes from within And your beaming eyes don't seem so bright My heart is on the floor Why don't you step on it? When I think of all the things you've done Boardwalks and breaking waves Made our Saturdays I'd buy you lemonade right now if you were here But then I'd throw it in your face And I'd listen to you cry And I'd remember how I miss our nights under ocean skies You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide.

THREE MILES DOWN
Oh great here I go again I'm stuck in this rut and I'm not sure how to begin- should I tell you everything? I'm feeling out of luck so I won't see you soon 'cause I know it's too soon for you to see me- if this is the last thing you do just tell me that it's o.k. for me to have these feelings for you and that it's normal to want to call you. Oh I'm dialing the phone and I'm letting it ring for hours and I'm pretending to hear your voice- Why does my heart always beat before yours does? After a while you can make yourself believe in almost anything, so I'm making myself believe in you.

...

@ breakpoint

2004-10-19T23:45:54Z

i am seeing life so differently... like the way i used to see it... despite current horrers that plague my mind...

i was running outside today in the rain, and i passed the sand volleyball court. two people were playing vball in the massive puddle that the court became. they asked me if i wanted to play, and i said yes. i met two new people this day, a guy and a gal. later three more girls showed up(one being the girl of that guy). we all played for a while, as they tried to get others involved. most shrugged their shoulders... but the hell with that. we played.

405- by Death Cab For Cutie

2004-10-19T23:36:33Z

405

Whenever I come back, the air on Railroad is making the same sounds.
And the shop fronts on Holly are dirty words (asterisks in for the vowels)
We peered through the windows: new bottoms on barstools but the people remain the same,
with prices inflating.

As if saved from the gallows, there's a bellow of buzzers and the people stop working
and they're all so excited. Passing through unconscious states, when I awoke I was on the highway.

With your hands on my shoulders, a meaningless movement: A movie script ending,
and the patrons are leaving. Now we all know the words were true in the sappiest songs (Yes, Yes).
I'll put them to bed, but they won't sleep, they're just shuffling their sheets,
they toss and turn, (you can't begin to get it back). Passing through unconscious states,
when I awoke I was on the onset of a later stage: the headlights are beacons on the highway.
-deathcabforcutie

the empty highway

2004-10-19T21:00:35Z

there is nothing like a warm smile,
or eyes that align themselves to mine,
or hair that blows about my being,
or kisses that plant themselves upon my cheeks,
or the hand i long to grasp,
or the warmth of the embrace...
and there is nothing like feeling so alive,
just to later feel like i am stuck,
placed between two doors...
to the left my heart,
my love,
a true attribute of life;
to the right my epitaph,
my confession pre-mortum,
my burial... my tomb...
...so there is nothing like warmth...
...and there is nothing like death,
so empty...

and when so i hear of your car crashing out on the road...
twisting, turning, devouring our souls...
i'm sorry i was your distraction...
i am sorry... i just am...
above all...
sorry i so strongly love you...
and i am just a distraction...
when i thought myself to be more than that...
to you.

stuff

2004-10-19T15:30:05Z

so...
stress is kickin in.
i have to reform some things here and there, but i am still ok.
i feel like a Coke bottle when it drops to the floor and the pressure builds. i want to just let the top fly and release the pressure, but maybe i should wait until it subsides.

i thought everything to be going great, with exception to a few minor details and a test i prob wont do well on. as long as things dont get all "wishy washy" i think i will be able to keep my head up, its just the wind and rain that i have to fight through. but i know i am not alone(most of the time, for sometimes i really feel alone).

to release some pressure- a guy can try his best and conform a bit, but when will things mirror.

anyways... i dont think many people come across this journal. i guess its here for whomever finds it. i guess thats why i write in it.

back to life- i have been very tight on money. i will be able to have more for my own use next semester- problem- i will have to save for the semester after next and live at home in the prossess. this is no great evil, just something different i really wanted to do without, but must do with. i can do this, as long as the world and those i care for in it still get to see me. i will provide this journal with a larger serving of life later, being that i now have to go to class.

*sigh*

life

2004-09-24T03:41:55Z

i have poetry to post... just have to finalize details.
---------
sometimes we dont know how much things or people have become a part of us and how much meaning has come from either one until we put ourselves into a position where it could disappear. sometimes it takes such a moment for us to realize how things are connected... things start to make perfect sense... connections grow stronger... we finally see what we have... and know that it is special.

:)